Now are these ridiculous or what???

Stella Awards

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.

The Stella's' are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the
United States.

Unfortunately, the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonald's, the
teens who allege that eating at McDonald's has made them fat, was filed after
the 2003 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2004 awards
list without question.


THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO ...

5TH PLACE (TIED): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded
$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over
a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the
store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the
misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.


5TH PLACE (TIED): 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the
wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.



5TH PLACE (TIED): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was
leaving the house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage.
He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic
door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because
the door connecting the house and garage had locked when he pulled it shut.
The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the
garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large
bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowners insurance, claiming the
situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the
tune of $500,000



4TH PLACE: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500
and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
door neighbor's beagle dog. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced
yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog
might have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams, who had
climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet
gun.


3RD PLACE: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and
broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.
Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an
argument.


2ND PLACE: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night
Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred while
Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid
paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.



1ST PLACE: This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago
Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the
Freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the
driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly
the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued
Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do
this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
There were any other complete morons buying their recreational
vehicles.